This website is dedicated to my daughter, Erin Alyssa Canter, born December 11, 2003 and died August 14, 2014. She was a special girl, the light of my life, and she touched many during her short time here.
Erin was a healthy child, only having had RSV as a baby and she was also misdiagnosed with asthma afterwards. It turned out that she had a soy allergy, and we ate a lot of soy products. Once that was cleared up, Erin was extremely healthy for most of her remaining years. In the fall of 2012, she ran into a classmate in PE and got a bite mark on her forehead, which led to swollen lymph glands under her arm. The glands were never cultured, and resolved itself after about 8 weeks and antibiotics. The next fall, she had neck pain and swollen cervical lymph nodes beginning in October – November of 2013. This illness also went undiagnosed, as cultures yielded little or nothing, and she succumbed to a still undiagnosed illness just a little over 2 weeks ago from today. We hope that her autopsy yields a root cause of illness and death, so that her life and death can help others.
While I will write a complete history for those interested, this site will focus on my journey through grief and on Erin’s very special life. She was kind, compassionate, very silly, and a very happy child. She loved animals and people. She was smart, and managed to complete the 4th grade with almost all A’s for the year despite having been out of school a total of 2-3 months (Last_reportcard).
All parents think their children are special, and so they should. I was surprised, and amazed, at how many people told me how special Erin was to them. So I share her with you, partially to help me but also to share her light with everyone else. I hope that you enjoy it, and I hope that in years to come her little friends (who won’t be little anymore) can come here and remember her.
Much love,
Erin’s Mommy
(AKA Ms. Nicole)
#missingerin
(I moved the site, so had to transport the comments)
From Lisa Lessard:
Submitted on 2014/09/25 at 9:48 am
I have followed your family through facebook and though we have never met, my heart aches for you and your husband. I am awe-struck with your ability to put into words the unimaginable. I have friends that have lost children, I have lost my brother and my mother. I have two sets of parents the ones before my brother died and the ones after he died. I lost my mom 6 years after my brother, and I feel her broken heart was why she died so young, 60 years old. I have also had 2 miscarriages- follow your struggle and I pray for you and Shaun daily. I know Erin is in a happy place, no more pain, and while I am thankful for that- it still isnt “right”. I will continue to pray for you and follow your posts and want to thank you for tremendous courage and spirit.
Submitted on 2014/10/18 at 4:21 pm
Thank you Lisa. I really appreciate your kindness. While I can’t say what happened with your Mom, I wouldn’t doubt it had something to do with a broken heart, because I know that I would rather have my life end than continue on with this pain. For those of us who aren’t suicidal, I guess we just wake up knowing we are still here but wishing it would be over.
It is amazing to me how many of “us” there are…and by us I mean people who have reached out and shared their pain with me. I am amazed because knowing how I am feeling, I don’t understand how we make it through each day. I also don’t understand the need for all of this suffering.
Thanks again for reaching out. It took me over a month to come back to work on this website and I just saw your comment. I guess now is the time, and before I was just too darn sad.
Love and hugs,
Nicole
I just finished catching up on blog posts over at BlueStarhome. I’m glad you got this site up and running, so I can read and leave comments here and there (I’m not on facebook anymore). I love you, Nic. I wish I had’ve gotten to know Erin while she was here. What a joy that would have been. It was still awesome hearing about her and seeing pics of her as she grew up. I still wish there was someway I could stop this suffering for you. I know there isn’t, so I’ll just keep showing up, and reading, and electronically holding your hand for the rest of our journey here on this big blue planet. Love you, girl.
I wish you could have known her too Shan! I am sort of at a point to where I can smile when I think of her, but it is still very painful probably always will be. Thank you for walking this journey with me. I love you, too.